July 23, 2012 by theparentnormal
Every baby boy is his mommy and daddy’s number one boy and has at least eleven outfits to prove it. But when a baby boy’s number one talent is exposed, it is more likely to cause an embarrassing parentnormal moment for his parents than not.
Case, point and tips for the number one parentnormal encounter:
During a recent “health visit” at the doctor’s office, I laid my diaperless baby boy on a scale so that the nurse could check his weight. While he chirped in cheerful conversation to himself, the rest of us kept our eyes on the increasing digital numbers displaying his weight. Breaking our focus on the numbers, however, was a sound not unlike a water hose spraying a tile floor. When our eyes adjusted to the scene, we saw that the tile floor beneath us was indeed being sprayed. But a water hose was not the source. The eye-level liquid arc before us was originating from the area of the scale.
And then, once the liquid arc faded away like a brief rainbow, there was silence and awkwardness.
During parentnormal encounters such as this, it is crucial to be prepared with icebreakers that can conclude the seemingly endless awkward and silent moment. To help you prepare, here are 10 number one icebreakers to end the silence and start a new conversation:
- Does phone begin with an F or a P? Because if that’s P, I need to go make a call.
- I’ve heard a sound like running water is supposed to be relaxing, but I’m guessing you don’t think so.
- You look like you could use a raincoat. Can I suggest a place?
- Have you ever wondered if Michelangelo intended the David statue to be a fountain?
- Why the long face? Have you never seen a racehorse go at full speed?
- So, it looks like you’re-in trouble.*
- Do you think the Yellow River is really yellow?
- I’ve heard there’s nothing like seeing Old Faithful, but I’ve also heard and seen other things that would make me believe otherwise.
- You’re lucky you don’t have a waterbed. Wouldn’t you hate to clean one of those?
- Has this room ever been a bathroom?
* You’re-in is pronounced urine.
If none of these icebreakers are effective, just be glad your number one boy isn’t your number two boy.